Talking to Your Man about Menopause and Intimacy

Menopause has brought with it a number of uncomfortable symptoms that have left you a different woman. These days, the two of you may find you’re feeling cranky, tired, sore, and miserable, and it’s leaving you with little interest in the bedroom

Since he’s not living in your skin, your man may not grasp how you are feeling and why menopause is taking its toll on intimacy. Helping him understand could make things a bit easier for both of you so you can weather this storm better. Communication is a key to a healthy relationship, so start talking.

Assure him you aren’t enjoying being cranky.

Letting your husband know that you don’t enjoy being cranky any more than he does could help him be more understanding. Share how your menopause symptoms are leaving you feeling uncomfortable in your own skin so you come across as cranky as you try to cope. Remind him that you love him despite your crankiness and assure him it’s not personal. Knowing you love him will open the door to the two of you working together to find ways to be intimate even when intercourse is a problem.

Describe your menopause symptoms.

You may assume he knows, but sharing the specific symptoms you are experiencing and what they do to you could help him understand better. Talk to him about the fatigue, itchy skin, brain fog, hot flashes, and night sweats you’re having and how they are making you feel. If he understands how uncomfortable you are, he can be more understanding of finding ways to be intimate that don’t worsen your symptoms.

Be plain about your vagina.

Your man may not realize just how tender your vagina is these days thanks to vaginal dryness. Talk to him about how without enough estrogen, the vaginal tissues are thin and less pliable, leaving them easily irritated and damaged. Tell him how even toilet paper can be painful, so sexual intercourse can be miserable and extremely painful. If he knows how tender the area is, he can be more understanding about helping to keep it comfortable and being intimate in other ways.

Don’t disguise your concerns about your feminity.

Your man may not understand how menopause is making you feel unfeminine and thus uninterested in intercourse. Talk to him about how the weight you’ve gained, extra wrinkles, and unpleasant odor make you embarrassed to be intimate and without clothes. All in all, you aren’t feeling sexy and may feel unattractive, even to your mate. Sharing your feelings with him gives him a chance to understand and work with you to be find ways to be romantic when you’re uncomfortable in your own skin.

This content was written by staff of HysterSisters.com by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.  Reprinted with permission: Talking to Your Man about Menopause and Intimacy