Katy’s Abdominal Hysterectomy

Abdominal Hysterectomy
Age at Surgery 35
Location: Frankfurt, Germany

I had some fibroids developing very fast, and during the surgery they found out that one was too close to blood vessels. I lost more then one liter of blood and to save my life the doctor had to do hysterectomy. I have my ovaries but I cannot carry a child.

I don’t remember a surgery just that the anesthesia took me away very fast. I had very bad reaction on anesthesia and was staying in a hospital for eight days. I remember the next day after when the nurse came in and made me get up and go to wash myself. The pain and everything was so horrible I thought I will never do that again. After couple of hours I wanted to get up by myself so the doctor said let her do it. The hospital staff was really friendly and very comforting. I was not allowed to eat for three days and everybody was taking very good care of me. I am very grateful for everybody in the hospital.
The first day I walked by myself to get a water they didn’t recognize me because they were used to see that super pale lady in the hospital gown laying in her bed.

I had a person to help me. He was coming every day for couple of hours to cook for me and help me with a household. The company I work for paid for it and I am thankful for that as I thought it will be easy fibroid surgery and I will be in the office in two weeks. After a month I asked if I can return to yoga and the doctor said yes but I have to really listen to my body. So, I tried, and did stop when I felt pain
I never knew that being strong is not an answer to this surgery.

I have problems with my digestion. Doctors made tests and now I am lactose intolerant, cannot have any sparkling drinks or any gassy foods as it still swells up my belly and I have a lot of pain walking.
I have double feelings about.my hysterectomy – it saved my life but it took away my dream about carrying a life in me.
It was, still is, very hard to accept it and I think because I am alone in it. My family is far away and they expect me to be strong and I am alone. Not just alone but lonely alone in this. I know there is a surrogacy but I will never feel somebody growing in me, moving in me. And all my friends are getting pregnant now and they actually avoid me. Just not to make me hurt.

I really cannot answer because it was not my choice. I didn’t know what happened to me until I was good after anesthesia. And I just block it out. I was comforting my friends because they were upset about it but I never was comforting me.
My advise would be – love yourself. The surgery is super serious stuff not just on your body but on your soul even if you don’t notice that. Just love yourself and be self observed in the time of healing.